In the beginning…Ayesha's Dream
I had recently returned from my father’s memorial service. It was February of 2020, and I had just laid my head on my pillow for the night. Running through my head was a question I didn’t have an answer to: “Why didn’t it work?” Why didn’t the dream my father had for 35 years ever manifest? It seemed he had done all the right things. He had his plans written up and had begun doing what needed to be done. Still, the healing center he envisioned never materialized. When I walked through the house after he passed, my eyes saw the affirmation he had on the refrigerator for many years, having to do with manifesting StarSeed Farms healing center.
“I thought this stuff worked,” I said to myself. Why, with all he had done, was there no healing center? As I drifted off to sleep, next to my husband Mark, I felt a little like a disgruntled child questioning the Universe.
“I thought this was supposed to work,” I repeated this time in my dream.
A voice responded. “It was your father’s job to anchor this dream in reality and yours to bring it to fruition.”
“Would I have to move there?”
“No, but you would have to travel there a lot.” I could travel there, but I didn’t want to move away from the town I had only lived in for two years. In this time, I had met so many wonderful people here. I wasn’t ready to leave.
“OK,” I said.
“This is a big project, and you’ll really have to commit to it in order to make it happen. If you agree, show your commitment by sitting up in bed.”
Up until this moment, I was having a lucid dream, but I definitely felt asleep. I woke myself up enough to sit up in bed, but the conversation continued.
“Good. Now you can’t do this alone. Mark will have to commit to the project too. He needs to signify his commitment by sitting up in bed as well.”
Now Mark was not privy to this dream, of course, and lay blissfully asleep next to me.
“Honey, honey!” I tapped Mark’s shoulder. “Sit up.”
“Why? I’m sleeping and I’m under the covers.” Unknown to me, Mark had, up until now, a hard time getting to sleep, and he had just dropped off.“Just sit up,” I asked again. It was too complicated to explain the whole thing, and I doubted he would understand in his sleepy state, even if I did.
Mark pulled himself up from under the covers. “Why am I sitting up?”
“You’ve just committed to something, but I’ll tell you in the morning,” I told him.
Remarkably, he didn’t question me further (although I have been known to wake him up in the past). He laid back down as did I, and we both fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, he asked me what that was all about, and I told him about the dream -- or was it a dream? At first, understandably, he was a little grouchy about committing to something he knew nothing about ahead of time. As we talked about what it could become, Mark warmed to the idea, then grew excited about what was possible.
In seven months, two people moved to StarSeed Farms, even though there was no hot water, and the house was full of stuff. The toilet flushed and there was electricity. That was a plus.
They camped on friends’ couches and on the land, eventually moving inside when the water heater worked and there was more room made amidst all the stuff to squeeze in a bed.
We had little idea about how to progress. We had never created an intentional community before, but for whatever reason, what we shared about our vision resonated with others, and the community began to grow.
As I sit writing this account, five weeks from today, we move to Kansas City. Visiting a lot was not an option during Covid. Our energy and presence is needed there. I think the voice that was talking to me that night must have known me well. If I was told I had to move there in February of 2020, I don’t know that I would have committed to going. Instead, I thought I would be happy with visiting and shepherding the community from afar. It worked for a time, but now the time has changed. Let the adventure begin.